Back-to-school season is here — and with it come a host of stressors and anxieties for parents and children alike.
Bedtimes become more strict. Separation anxiety looms. The academic pressure of a new school year might weigh on your mind, too. The good news: A little planning can enable a smooth transition for you and your kid, says Gayane Aramyan, a Sherman Oaks, California-based family therapist.
“During the summertime, we parents tend to bend our own rules. I know my TV has been on way more than I anticipated it would be,” Aramyan tells CNBC Make It. “But before school starts, preparation and routine is key.”
Here are Aramyan’s top three tips to help set your kids up for back-to-school success:
Ease into your back-to-school morning routine a few weeks in advance
Abruptly making your child go to bed earlier or cutting down their TV time may only confuse them, and can feel like a punishment.
“You have to really spell out [these changes] to your kid ahead of time,” Aramyan says.
Her recommendation: Start making those changes two to three weeks before school begins. Everyone’s routine varies, but some general components are ideal for everyone, she says:
- Getting out of bed early
- Doing tasks like picking out clothes and packing a lunch the night before
- Having a morning checklist
- Rewarding your child when all tasks are complete
Aramyan also advises picking up a back-to-school children’s book, detailing what your child can expect from their new routine in a fun and easily digestible way.
Curb your child’s — and your own — separation anxiety
Nearly all children between the ages of 18 months and 3 years old have some level of separation anxiety, according to Stanford Medicine. Most kids grow out of it, but about 3% of children keep experiencing it through elementary school, the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia reported in 2021.
It’s a “normal part of a child’s development,” Aramyan says, so when you drop your kid off at school, make a point of telling them: “Mommy or Daddy are going to pick you up. I’m coming back. I will see you later.” Even if it seems obvious, it’s “important to vocalize that every single day,” she adds.
Parents struggle with separation anxiety, too — especially parents of “pandemic babies,” says Aramyan.
If that’s you, work to avoid projecting your anxiety onto your kids at school or daycare drop off. “If you’re going to be crying, your child’s probably going to be crying too,” Aramyan says. “You want to show them that this is a part of life and it’s our responsibility.”
Instill confidence in them, even when they mess up
The pressure to perform well in school can be stressful for kids. Try to instill confidence in them, even when they make mistakes, says Aramyan.
“Talk to your children about what they’re struggling with, what they need extra help with and how you can support them,” she says. “Maybe there’s a tutor that can be helpful, or you can talk to a teacher to accommodate certain needs.”
“What’s more important is the confidence we give to our kids with their problem-solving capabilities,” she adds.
Confident students are more likely to absorb material faster, be excited to learn, ask for assistance and speak up in class, a 2017 National Education Association article noted.
“Confidence is going to be more helpful than them getting straight A’s,” says Aramyan. “When those emotional components are there, their academics will flourish as well.”
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