Weddings are a huge life expense: the average cost of one in 2024 is $33,000, according to a Zola report.
Kicking off the series of costly festivities is typically an engagement, which often means the purchase of a pricey diamond ring. After all, the rule-of-thumb is that a engagement ring is supposed to cost the buyer three months’ salary.
This rule seems to have fallen out of vouge, according to a recent Bank of America Survey. Almost two-thirds, 61%, of people think this traditional guideline is not feasible in the current economy.
Experts agree the rule can be abandoned and shoppers should stick to a more thoughtful budget.
The guidance is not rooted is any logic, anyways, says Sarah Hanlon, an editor at The Knot.
“Feel free to disregard the ‘three-months’ salary’ rule, as this is an outdated myth that was actually based on a marketing campaign from the Great Depression era, and not based on current facts or data,” she says.
Indeed, the “three months’ salary” rule originated from an advertisement campaign for a diamond company in the 1930s meant to increase the sale of diamonds. The company, Da Beers, initially said that a man should spend one month’s salary on a ring, but over the next few decades it continued to raise the bar until it was three months’ salary.
In short, the rule was a marketing strategy.
“Instead, we advise you to take your long-term financial goals and expenses into consideration,” Hanlon says.
‘The only wrong thing to do is overspend’
Jake Alfonzo, a custom design specialists at Brooklyn, New York-based jewelry company Fitzgerald Jewelry, says most people he helps ring shop are not allocating three months’ income to a ring.
“People are spending a lot less,” he says.
Most shoppers at Fitzgerald’s are concerned with the piece being unique rather than flashy.
“It’s doesn’t have to be really expensive or really fancy,” he says. “All it has to do is align with your partner’s love language.”
One way to budget properly for a ring is to find out which of the “4C’s” — cut, color, clarity and carat — doesn’t matter to your partner, Hanlon says: “Knowing which of the 4C’s to prioritize and which to sacrifice can help you determine the cost of the diamond.”
If carat is important but you want to stick to a tighter budget, you could opt for a lab-grown diamond, which is typically 20% to 50% cheaper than a mined one.
You also don’t have to shop at a traditional jeweler, says Allison Cullman, wedding expert and vice president of brand marketing at Zola.
“If style or story is most important, couples can consider checking out pawn shops, antique stores, and estate jewelry sections for beautiful, pre-loved pieces at lower prices,” Cullman says.
Whatever you do, don’t go into debt for an engagement ring.
“The only wrong thing to do is overspend, and create financial insecurity,” Cullman says. “While making a grand impression might be nice for optics, going into debt is not the way to go.”
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